Friday, 17 December 2010

Santa takes a quick breather...

HO-HO-HO and all that sort of thing.  I should really get some practice in at that or your dear old Santa will be more like a damp squib than a live wire!!

Eh?  What am I doing here?  Why aren't I in Lapland up to the eyes in wish lists?  I thought you might ask that.  I said to Angie when she asked me to guest her blog "Angie," I said, "Have you any idea...?"
"Yes, yes, never mind all that," she said, plonking her laptop in my lap (where else).  Ha ha - a LAPtop in my LAPland "It could be a real coup getting you to guest write.   And I have SO much to be getting on with."

So here I am (I bet you think this is me in the picture).  To be honest I seem to be a bit in the way in Lapland at the moment.  The elves who help me have it all under control - and believe me there's more to do than yo would think.  I mean, somebody has to spruce (ha ha - this gets worse - SPRUCE) - er, spruce up the reindeer.  Rudolph of course has to have his nose sparkled up ready for the big trip on Christmas Eve.  All the others have to be just so so that they stand out from the electric looky likeys on houses . Not that anyone ever sees them of course.  That's part of the magic, part of their charm.   

A little tip though:  please don't leave bags of carrots or, worse still, sprouts, out for them.  It's not that we're ungrateful, it's just that...well you don't have to ride behind themNuff said!  Goodies for me is fine of course.  In fact I'll share a little secret with you now:  Mrs. Christmas doesn't cook any dinner on Christmas Eve so your tasty morsels are much appreciated.  Oh my, yes, I should say so.....

Oh, and kids,  a tip for you too:  don't even think about staying awake to see me.  You can't.  You might hear my sleighbells but you will never see me leaving your presents.  So get off to sleep.  That's the deal.

A question I often get asked is "At what age should you stop believing in Santa Claus?" .  The answer is NEVER.  Always believe because if you don't believe in Santa Claus there's not a lot TO believe in.  I know, I know, a lot of people say "Jesus is the reason for the Season" and He is, the little guy sleeping rough in the cowshed.  But He was given gifts - birthday gifts I suppose in His case - and, being the chap He was, there was need for the whole world to celebrate His birthday so they put the gift delivery out to tender.  It had to be somebody who could get round the whole world very very fast - so you got me because Richard Branson wasn't born yet.  There now, I bet you wondered why he called his airline Virgin Airways!  They had to let him fly the Kings instead.  Shepherds travel Ryanair or go on the bus.

The letters I get - by the way, I hope you've all got your letters posted off to me by now.  Cutting it fine if you haven't .    It's all very well asking for a Kindle but Muggins here has to go cap in hand to Amazon if I need 2 million extra next week.  Times have changed as well.  We don't get many requests for soft toys or dollies or Meccano sets these days.  It's computers or Wii's or Nintendos.  Books, of course, never go out of fashion, even for those not big enough to read.  I'm glad of that;   even if no-one ever reads to you, just the look and feel and smell of books can be enough to spark a lifetime's passion for the written word.

Gosh, is that the time.  Mrs C will have done lunch for the workshop by now so I'd better take some fish and chips in.  Oh yes, ha ha, very funny.  No there won't be a lucky fish shop able to claim Santa Claus as a customer;  nobody will know it's me - I'm in mufti so I look just the same as any other elf........ah ah AH - what did I tell you?  BELIEVE!

Love from Santa,


Keetha Broyles said...

Santa, you are ONE clever blogger! Such a witty bit of banter you sent our way this morning.

I'm wondering how you got that picture of me shoveling my Wisconsin walks??? Oh, why would I wonder and ask, you ARE Santa after all!

Ho Ho Ho!

Marie said...

Love, Love, Loved this! It has all the elements of a great story . . . windy reindeers, fish and chips, magic elves, and a wife that takes the night off on Christmas Eve! Love you loads dear friend! xxoo

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Oh I believe in Santa and I'm hoping to see lots of nice presents under the tree for me come Christmas too! Have a nice lunch and enjoy the break. Soon you will be very busy!

Ally Lifewithally said...

Oh I do believe in Santa and you have just confirmed my belief ~ thank you for a great entry ~ I don't need a lot of gifts just to know everyone else gets everything they ask for :O) ~ Ally x

Angie said...

And you KEETHA are another clever blogger! I almost fell for the wind-up!

MARIE - don't forget satsumas come into their own at Christmas!

Andy said...

Santa is very clever. In fact he has just passed his exams, he now has 6 ho ho ho levels!

Ben said...

Santa, please share this with my friend Angie. It's a famous piece here in the U.S., and maybe it's gotten across the ocean too and she's seen it before, but there's no way to know at this end. If it is already familiar to friends across the pond, forgive please, since it's probably still worth a re-read. It's one of the most famous American editorials ever written, back in 1897, in response to the equally famous letter from a little girl who wanted to know if there really is a Santa Claus. IMHO, it's one of the most important things ever written in the English language. And it explains in the loveliest terms why I know you exist.

Please give Angie a hug for me!


Grammy Staffy said...

Dear Santa,
I didn't even know that you were a blogger. Would you visit my blog too? You are a very clever and witty blogger. Angie is lucky to have you for a blog friend and guest blogger.

Please tell Angie hello for me and give her a big hug.
Thanks Santa. I look forward to seeing you next week.
Take care and don't work too hard. I will tell the kids not to put carrots out this year...ha ha

Jasper said...

Santa - what a wonderful post! But, surely, you have not forgotten the "Around the World with Jasper" series from a few years ago, on a certain Staffy's blog. I always though it was gas from the reindeer-botties that enabled them to fly so fast and so high? Please accept my sincere and unreserved apologies for my mistake!

If you have a moment, Santa (and I appreciate that this is a somewhat 'involved' time for you), could you please tell Angie that we say 'thank you' for the email she sent re. Gillian McKeith/Nigella Lawson? It was disseminated at work and much admired - until it became apparent that our male colleagues were concentrating with more enthusiasm than their work normally inspires on the image of Nigella and making a range of impertinent comments...

With love,

Jasper xxx
P.S. What do you call someone who is afraid of Father Christmas?
Claus-trophobic... xxxxx

Sybil said...

Hi Angie , are you ok ? missing you.
Just popping in to wish you and all those you love happy healthy days throughout 2011
love Sybil xx

Cathy said...

Hello Anie
Now that Santa has taken his menagerie of flying hired help and returned to his hard working wife at the North Pole for the next 11 months I just popped in to say Happy new Year. Look forward to reading more of your amazing stories etc as the weeks go by
Take care

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