Slimming World

The little picture above is what I have come to now. There are dishes of fruit all over the house; I've become a 'five a day' fiend.

People have asked me how I'm managing to lose weight. Well I'm going to Slimming World on a Thursday, hence the fruit all over the place. If you get to be Slimmer of the Week a basket of fruit is your reward. Do it twice and you get ANOTHER basket of fruit and it's all donated by the other people in the class. Each person is supposed to hand in a piece of fruit along with their £4.50 fee each week. This is fine so long as you like Apples - correction, you would have to be crazy about them!

I like the occasional apple but generally I prefer soft fruits and citrus. For me apples = apple CAKE or PIE or TURNOVER - are you with me so far? The apple part is fine, it's the rest of it I cant have! In fact Slimming World want you to count it as a treat ('syn', as they call it) if you cook your apple. As you might imagine 'syns' are strictly limited and each food has its number; well, I would rather syn with chocolate or not at all thank you very much.

This 'to cook or not to cook' is an ongoing bugbear with me because nobody at Slimming World has come up with a reasonable sounding answer to my question 'Why?' . The closest was "Well, it's so easy to cook a batch of apples (or plums, whatever) and not realise how much of it you're eating". True, but if you only microwaved one apple then sweetened it with sweetener, what's wrong with that? You're not putting anything in that wasn't there before, nor taking anything out.

But do you know the daftest thing? I daren't QUITE try it - cooking fruit - just in case somebody really knows the answer!

Tell you what really is nice though: Slimming World Syn free Chips. I suppose I can't give the recipe here because it'll be copyright I should think. Suffice to say it involves the parboiling of your chipped potatoes then spraying the dried chips with Fry Light and crisping them up in a very hot oven. We had egg and chips for lunch today - even Keith liked them and he doesn't usually like his chips messed about with.

Right, now, having got the picture at the top in the middle of the row, I find I cant move my usual signature down. I should probably have done that first!

love, CALAMITY JANE XXX

Friends

A friend whom I don't see very often sent this to me today. I've seen it before and I should think many of you will have too, but I wanted to share it with you because I'm a bit busy today and might not get time to write to you 'properly'. Just to say I'm thinking of you anyway!





A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.



After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?''

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?", the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.



After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?

''Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.''

"How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."



They went through the gate and, sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said, "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.''

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."



Soooo...Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain...



When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for,guess what you get? A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.



You are all welcome at my water bowl anytime!

Tiny Peeps

I wondered why there hadn't been even the littlest peep from anyone on the Juggy Singh post. I never published the flipping thing did I! What am I like.

All I wanted to say just now is that the post will be dated 4th June (when it was saved) but I actually published it today, 9th I think though I haven't looked at the newspaper yet!

Juggy Singh and the Milkgirl

SLIMMER OF THE WEEK for the second week in a row!! I can't believe it. It just shows that if dieting usually works for you. then it doesn't matter too much if, like me, you can't go to the gym or go jogging or walking. I've lost 11½lbs since I started 6 weeks ago.



I made a big mistake ditching my contact lenses just before Christmas in favour of varifocal glasses. A big mistake - and I've set things going to get them back soon as possible. I used disposable contacts for about 25 years with no problems so I just hope I can have them again. And anyway, glasses don't go with my new slimmer image!



Do you remember me telling you how we were considerably-more-than-somewhat disaster prone in our first home together in the 70's? Well, it occurs to me that mlk delivery people played a not inconsiderable role too. We had a German Shepherd called Juggy Singh.



He had been owned by a Sikh bloke called Mr Singh who worked with Keith at the time and drove the van they went to work in, accompaned every day by the dog. Keith made the mistake of saying what a wonderful dog this was and one fine sunny evening Mr. Singh turned up at our door with Juggy, his kennel and a green slimey water bucket. "You like dog? Dog yours," he said, and dumped the whole lot in our back yard. Mr. and Mrs. Singh had about a million kids and poor Juggy lived chained up outside of the two up-two down terrace where Mr. Singh's parents and brothers also lived.



Juggy was a darling, such a handsome dog. I would have trusted my life to him and for sure no-one would dare to threaten me! He took his orders only from Keith but he protected me and our home.



One hot sunny day came a knock on the front door. In good weather we always left the back door open so Juggy could trot in and out of our dog-proof back garden and that's where he was when I opened the front door. But I hadn't closed the inside doors properly so the through-draught caused them to open and the dog came through - JUST as the milkgirl was putting her money away and bent down to pick up the empty bottles from the doorstep! Well, they were our empty bottles and Juggy didn't like people messing about with our things so he took a run at the milk girl. I grabbed his collar as he came through, saying to the milkgirl "Leave the bottles, get back in your van.". She thought I was having a laugh. I wasn't, and I couldn't hold on to Juggy any more so he chased her off our property. The second she hopped over the fence into next door's garden he came back. He didn't care about next door's, they were outside his remit! Unfortunately he gave a final "and stay out" shove to her shoulder and tore a little L-shaped piece of her overall. He never bit her, just caught his paw in her overall.



Two hours later came a posse from the dairy accompanied by two policemen and the milkgirl. A policeman knocked, explained why they'd come and said "The dog must be identified madam". Yes, of course, I said, There's only one, shouldn't be too difficult, do come in. "Oh no madam. you must bring the dog, on his lead, into the living room and we will look through the window..". Well how would ANY dog react to having half a dozen noses almost pressed to the glass? Paws on the window ledge and woof woof woof, that's how.



And THAT is how I gained my one and only experience of the magistrates' court. The summons was so worded that there was no choice but to plead guilty to 'keeping a dangerous dog not under proper control'. No mitigating circumstances or anything. The magisrate said that an order would be made for the dog to be kept under control in future.



And that was it, - out. We spent 2 months befrehand wondering what was going to happen to us and/or the dog, I spent 2 hours in a corridor full of rogues and vagabonds, and all for an order which took about 2 minutes and for which I never even got a confirming letter

Crafty Saturday

Wednesday already and I haven't shown you anything of the craft and food fair we went to last Saturday up at Newby Hall near Ripon in North Yorkshire. It's not too far, only about 1½ hours drive , and a good opportunity for Keith to try out his new toy, the GPS. Actually a blindfolded homing pigeon could have found it but there you go.....boys and their toys!

Just look at that sky! The weather was sunny and warm apart from a fairly brisk east wind so it tended to be a bit chilly in the shade.

We made a beeline for the food tent of course. Cupcakes galore. We used to call them fairy cakes, didn't we, and they were mostly for children's parties and Saturday tea. Now they're all grown up and wearing their best hats!

I liked the look of these cherry and coconut squares and date squares.

This gingerbread looked lovely too

There are some clever people about. Keith thought we ought to look at something other than food! These mouse panels - you can see how small they are - were ridiculously expensive, but very pretty.

I just happened to spy these cookbooks. That brown one in the middle is a slow cooker book, just what I ..........aaaagh I've been cruelly dragged away..............................

These mirrors were made to order and, again, cost the earth. That green one at the top would look lovely in our hallway.

Isn't it cute? The tree is made of wood (of course) and hung with all these red velvet hearts. Makes me wish I was a handy needlewoman.

Mimuther loves candles, the smellier and gaudier the better. I don't, I was looking at that nest of tables, which I liked, but each piece was separately priced. The largest one was £149 - go figure! I liked the blue pots next to it too, but what we bought for a keepsake was these 2 little chaps.........

They live in the kitchen window and keep me informed what the neighbours are doing (heh heh).

Luckily pets corner had a canvas gazebo over it or these poor chickens and bunnies would have suffered.

This bunny was absolutely HUGE! I've never seen one like it before. It was about three times the size of the others.

I have a feeling something is going to go haywire here with the computer. It keeps telling me autosave failed so I better quit while i'm ahead!

Til next time

RHONDI'S PORCH PARTY

a self portrait. Well, It could be if you added a few inches to the girth of Moi.

First of all Rhondi, thanks for inviting us. I've been so looking forward to this. Happy birthday, I hope you have fun today. For your porch party last year I had to 'borrow' my sister's back porch as we didn't have anything that would do.

Well, we still dont't have a porch as such but Keith has been slaving away for a few months making us a nice place to sit in the back garden and I'm hoping lots of blog friends will call in for tea.

Just come round to the back of the house and through the gate to the left of the picture, by the blue pot.

There's a little table there to sit at - I can soon find more chairs. Or if you prefer......

........take a seat on the deck. Nte the strategically placed cordyline? It's foliage hides a basket of ironing in the conservatory that I forgot to move!

Now, THIS is a perpetually hungry guest who arrived on the wrong day (there's always one!). She is unbelievably camera shy but I thought I should use the picture seing as she let me take it.

OH NO! Blogger won't let me bring up any more pictures. That's so disappointing because you can really see that we do occasionally get beautiful weather in England. Rarely is the sky such a beautiful blue. Well I don't know if I'm being unusually clever or what - Quite out of character if I am - but I may well have discoveed how to put them at the side. 'Ma' does it. Maybe they don't look quite the same there but it's better than nothing eh?

I didn't really know what to wear today so I decided at last on a really bright yellow top with a not-quite-long skirt in this colour with a pattern of feathers on it. It's very colourful and just the right colour for a celebration. You're all looking very lovely. The croquet hoops and mallets are on the lawn. It's a lovely gentle game.

Tea, anyone?

xxxx

The Tale of Messrs Young and Stupid

A couple of people have asked how the kitchen ceiling saga went, so here goes.

Back in the '70's when we were first married we lived in a small, very old bungalow (single storey house), pretty much as we do now. The kitchen had been built on along with a bathroom and had a flat roof covered with roofing felt and ballast. The summer had been very hot until it started to rain before we went on holiday (well it would!) and the roofing felt cracked - I suppose it was quite old too - letting in the rain. So there we were when we came home with a ceiling dripping water and a thunderstorm going on outside and, speaking for myself, sheer blind panic!

I think our brains must have been left in the car when it was stolen because we just went off to bed after putting out all the buckets we could find in a vain attempt to catch the water. There was electricity in there for goodness sake! Apparently what we should have done was turn off the power and bash a hole in the ceiling so that the water had a large means of escape. Instead, it just pooled up there while its turn came to get through a hole, thus making the plasterboard and plaster soggy and heavy and causing it to fall down.

You're exactly right Marcy, new roofs and ceilings are not something you usually budget for! We did have what we call "Bricks and mortar" insurance which should have covered it as storm damage. Don't ask me why we never made a claim but we didn't. Young and stupid I guess. Keith put up a new ceiling and his brother repaired the roof as a temporary measure and I rang an architect to come and draw up plans for a whole new extension and knock that one down. This had always been our intention but it happened a bit sooner though we would have saved ourselves a lot of money if we had only made an insurance claim. And that's what happened, we had a new kitchen built..........

BUT MEANWHILE..........

While we were waiting for the wheels of burocracy in the guise of the local planning office, to grind slowly on (as they do) I set fire to the place! It was an accident, honest.

I was melting some fat in the chip pan to pour it away one sunny Sunday morning about 6 weeks later when I decided it was time Keith joined the waking world. Off I went to wake him up, leaving the pan on the stove and, of course, it did what unattended pans will do!

When I realised what the 'funny smell' was I flew through to the kitchen, Keith hot on my heels. Never mind covering the blazing pan with a damp cloth like they tell you to, he grabbed the pan handle with a towel and flung the whole lot out the back door, narrowly missing the milkman who was calling to be paid! Remember this, Keth had just jumped out of bed. He was starkers. Oh my, you couldn't have written that script!

This wasn't the doggy; he was a doberman puppy

That's when we noticed the dog was missing. Oh Lord, where's the dog, where's the dog. Guess where he turned up at? At the back of the cupboard under the kitchen sink where he had snuck cos he was scared. Then he couldn't get out cos the door was shut!

AND STILL we never made an insurance claim!!

The builders were due to start a week later so we put the dog in kennels and went to live with mum for 6 weeks. If it was now I wouldn't want to live in that house any more - would you?

So there's a silly story of Messrs Young and Stupid!

Until next time, xxx