A Pants Morning

Today has not started well! Keith is on the early shift at work so about 6.30 (yes, I know) I got up and did the usual and got dressed. "Right," I thought, "The working day starts here, let's have some laundry sorted out for the wash." So, working from my wheelchair, and with the help of my trusty grabby stick, I started to make a pile in my lap of mucky washing. I felt something brush my ankle but thought it was my skirt,

WRONG!!! First mistake.

It was something falling off the pile, had I but looked. I didnt. I started to turn my chair around with me in it and with one hand because the other was hugging the pile of laundry, but it - - -wouldn't (puff, pant)- - - go (huff huff). I threw the laundry on the bed and looked down. Silly me, I thought, I'm running over something, so I wheeled backwards,

WRONG!!! Second Mistake.

Whatever it was just wrapped itself even tighter around my front wheel. A few choice words may have fallen from my lips. I didn't remember seeing a boa constrictor in the bedroom. In vain I tried to unravel it but the thing was tightly wrapped around that wheel and I was going nowhere. And where was the walking frame? In the hall. The only thing to do was make for that and so, using the bed and the wardrobe doors for support, I waddled out of the bedroom, got the frame and waddled on into the kitchen. Good job this is a small house!

What now? This nonsense has taken about an hour but the carer isn't due for 2 hours more and I need rescuing! The bedroom looked like a major war zone, with the bed all upside-down and a pile of mucky washing chucked on it.

The dog wanted to go out as well so I opened the back door for her. It was pouring rain, which made me remember I wanted the loo too so I sat on the stool again quick!

Now, I do truly believe that God made me the kind of person that doesn't give up easily. I also believe that He endowed me with common sense enough to know when I'm beat! I daren't try to walk further with the frame in case I couldn't get back so I just had to sit on the perching stool and watch tv (awww) and wait to be rescued.

Weeks later (well, a good couple of hours anyway) the cavalry arrived and killed the boa constrictor with her scissors. What was it? Well, the clue is in the title to this entry!

P A N T S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!